"I Wanna Be Sedated"

Never was a huge Ramones fan, but that song - or at least the title - definitely fits today. The pain is really bad for some reason. I was up most of the night in pain. Yes, I took my prescription pain killers, but it didn't seem to help much, and I can't take them before I drive or while I'm at work. For the past 12 hours or so, I've had a strong desire to just be knocked out. Even a bat to the head is somewhat appealing right now. Anything so I won't feel the pain. But that wouldn't really get me anywhere. If I'm unconscious, I can't go to work. If I don't go to work, I have to use sick leave. And if I use sick leave, I'll have to tap more of my vacation time to cover my leave for my surgery, jeopardizing the family vacation we already have planned for August.

If my doctor's office called today and said they could do my surgery tomorrow, I would jump at the opportunity. We all know that's not going to happen, and I have to just stick it out until my scheduled date in a little under four weeks. The current tormenting pain will subside in a few days like it always does, and I will survive. There are just some days like today that I just wish I didn't have to deal with it, that I could just put my life on hold to escape it. Then again, I do have my family to think of, and that does help get me through. :)

My Little One is Growing Up!

It's official: my youngest is fully potty-trained. There have been no accidents for a long time, and so her daddy is taking her out to buy her first "big girl undies." I am so happy! It is a very big step for her, and she is so proud, as am I. She has been wearing disposable training pants for a while now, and lately they have been wearing out rather than being soiled. It makes my day to see her face when she tells me she has been "dry all day, Mommy!" Then there's the other upside to this - no more money to spend on training pants or diapers! EVER!

It's confirmed!

It is now official that my two surgeries will be on May 17. I just heard from my gyn surgeon's assistant that it was no problem to schedule the OR for the extra hour. Yay! They had me a little worried earlier in the day when she called and asked if I would be willing to reschedule in the event they could not actually book the extra time. Of course, if she had managed to get in touch with the otolaryngologist's office - which started calling her two weeks ago - in a timely manner, there would not have been a need to worry me like that!

Run-in with the Mob Wagon

So I was traveling home the other day when I looked in my rear view mirror and saw a black Mercedes with black windows and chrome trim running up on my rear. My first thought was, "Well, that looks like a mafia car..." So I get into the right lane after passing another vehicle, and when the Mercedes pulls alongside, I see it is a station wagon. A Mercedes wagon? Tricked out like a mobster car?? I was quite amused by this point, but it got better. When the car passed, I finally saw its personalized license plate: MOBWAGON. At least the owner knows how funny it is...

Of all the crazy things I've done

I've had endometriosis and related issues since at least 1999, although it probably started much earlier than that, really. That was just the time I started having terrible pain, and in 2000 I was officially diagnosed. I have been through nearly every medical treatment possible, including two laparoscopic surgeries. Nothing worked, at least for long. I finally found decent relief in the fall of 2007, but as usual, my body has started overtaking the treatment. It has snowballed to the point that I sometimes have unbearable uterine pain and nearly always have some level of pelvic pain. An annual pelvic exam will cause me to have dizzying pain for three days to a week! It is really affecting my life, and so I decided to go ahead and have a hysterectomy.

Yep, I'm going to be gutted like a fish. Okay, so maybe not that severe. Hopefully I will keep most of my "guts," with only my uterus getting ripped out. I'll be keeping my ovaries if possible, too. Menopause at my relatively young age just isn't appealing. Of course, the procedure itself isn't very appealing, either, but the prospect of relief is. After returning home from an exam in so much pain I wanted to remove the blighted organ with whatever kitchen knife I could get my hands on, I decided it was time for the operation. If I'm to the point I want to do it myself, then I am ready for this. My doctor will also be "cleaning up" any endometriosis that is in there, along with any adhesions.

All this is crazy enough, but I didn't stop there. I also have chronic cryptic tonsillitis and went to my otolaryngologist to see if he could take my tonsils out sometime while I was still off for the hysterectomy. He immediately suggested doing the surgeries together. Me being the insane person I am, I of course said, "Really? Okay!" The hyst will actually be done first, then he will come in and cut out my tonsils. It may be difficult for the first few days post-op, but the up sides are that I will have only one hospital admission, only one set of "pokes" for IVs and anesthesia, and I will be under anesthesia for less total time. He warned me that I would have pain in two places at once, but I said I've been having pain in those two places concurrently for years! My husband is already looking forward to it; as he puts it, I won't be able to yell at him or chase him down!

My procedures are set for May 17. I am a bit nervous about it and will likely post somewhat often on the subject. On the flip side, I am also looking forward to it, because it will eliminate two sources of pain and aggravation in my life. So, I don't want to see comments from anyone telling me they're sorry. I'm not sorry, why should you be? I don't want pity. In fact, I want to celebrate once everything is done! Who's with me?